


Thinking

by straeon



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-09
Updated: 2015-03-09
Packaged: 2018-03-17 02:46:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3512318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/straeon/pseuds/straeon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What might have been going through Robert’s mind when he was waiting in the barn for Aaron.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thinking

**Author's Note:**

> Written and set after the 04/02/2015 episode.

Walking into their usual meeting place early,Robert wasn’t surprised Aaron wasn’t there yet. Though a part of him still hoped his lover would be waiting for him, ready and willing to forgive and forget.

As he entered, a cold breeze mussed up his hair. Annoying. A smile played on Robert’s lips though as he thought of how Aaron may be there soon enough to warm up the place.

Sitting down on a hay bale, he pushed away the seed of doubt. Aaron had forgiven him before. And what they had together worked. Maybe it worked even better without the pressures of other people’s attention or the risk of it getting serious. If Aaron didn’t see that, Robert could make him come around. It was partly what this meeting was for, if Aaron wasn’t already in a forgiving mood.

There was no doubt Aaron did still fancy him. Robert could tell that he was holding back around him, keeping himself under control. His reaction every time he saw Robert, as if he’d been injected, was his tell - he still very something

He always would, Robert told himself. Partly because he felt… something. Something more than it being sexual anyway, which he couldn’t suppress when he first started to want him (and when he gave in and made that ridiculous phone call over a fake motor problem) and which he couldn’t stop from being more than sex when he invited him to the best hotel he could, as his date.

If he wanted someone other than Chrissie for sex, it couldn’t be that hard to find someone else.

Not like Aaron needed convincing.

It could be easier to find someone further from home. Someone attractive in a gay bar. Wouldn’t be the first time, though the other times he’d had nothing to lose. But if it wasn’t any of the closest ones, who would be there to see him? The information would not likely get back to Chrissie.

So why did it have to be Aaron? Why was he constantly checking his watch and the time on his phone alternatively? Why did his heart give a jolt as he saw it was 4pm and why was it sinking the further past 4’o clock it was?

Surely this was becoming more trouble than it was worth. Than he was worth?

Robert sighed, because he didn’t want to give up on this yet when he knew he should… But did that really mean anything other than that it wasn’t his nature to give up easily? He shook his head to himself.

He had wanted Aaron, not just someone to have sex with. It had been his attitude and morals and… stubble that attracted Robert, not just the idea of having an affair or a quick shag to get back at Chrissie. An affair had definitely not been planned, not when it could hurt her or risk what he had and what more he was so close to getting… But he kept wanting more of Aaron as well. They both felt that, Robert was sure.

Robert had to tell himself again that they both wanted it when he saw that it was half past now.

Something at work could’ve held him up, or getting away from Chas or something. Robert shrugged. Sometimes there were tractors and sheep on the road.

He sighed and leaned back on the hay bale (which was getting pretty uncomfortable). But he could be away for a couple of hours. And after this? Didn’t have to be in this barn. The farm was a possibility if Katie and Andy weren’t going to get it. A part of him would want to let them have it later, keep Andy on side and make himself look better for being so forgiving of Katie, who looked ridiculous to everyone right now, thankfully. He didn’t feel bad about her losing everything if that’s what she wanted for him but it might work against him with Andy.

But if the farm could also keep up the thing he had with Aaron? If he didn’t want to be meeting in shady places, they didn’t have to. If it would keep him from resenting what he had with Chrissie. Did he really expect him to give that up for someone he’d known for a few months? It didn’t have to be a choice between them, as far as Robert was concerned…

By 5pm, he was pretty annoyed at the waiting but he also figured that Aaron would appreciate that he’d waited for him. Could help.

He was getting calls from Chrissie if he was getting ready to meet at the pub. She would be his wife tomorrow and he was thinking about some mechanic. Robert could see the life he would have from tomorrow, respected for his job and beautiful, intelligent wife and with a teenaged step-son as part of the deal. He would be taken seriously with a family. All of that, it should be enough – it was what he was meant to have, as far as he was concerned.

Aaron didn’t have to be a part of it, especially if he was thinking about coming between Robert and those plans.

Still, Robert waited longer to be sure that he wasn’t coming.

What he'd heard earlier with Paddy seemed like an indication Aaron wasn't giving him on this either but… 

When it was getting too late to not be going to the pub, it felt pretty fucking ridiculous to still be waiting. If Aaron thought he could mess him about like this, he really didn’t need this. It would’ve been nice, sure, to have this all set up with Aaron still there. The time he spent alone with Aaron, who he had felt like understood him and what he wanted, plus the fucking great sex, Robert wanted to hold onto – but he didn’t need this.

Robert left the barn thinking about all he was going to have soon, the life he was going to lead. And no one was going to get in the way of that.


End file.
